" Good-Morning, I thought I would ad this bit of my own comments to the post below before you read it. Also posting it to help me REMEMBER, as I just came out of a 4-year relationship that was to end in a wedding ring in a few months and it ended about 3-weeks ago when I finally figured out he didn't have any plans of marriage, because I had to many problems he said, not his problems he brought to the table just mine, so I walked away and set him free.Nothing to show for the time I spent with this man but a broken heart a bit of bitterness, but lot wiser. So..This is what I seem to have done wrong in my past dating with men over my life time. I was looking for love in all the wrong places or should I say, I'm finding out I was looking at the wrong men to give me love and respect and their time. What I got from the male-dating partners I dated is below, and what I did because I didn't respect myself enough to demand more from them in the first place!!
Things I feel we as women do wrong, when dating men, to stop from being alone:
Give up our bodies for sexual pleasures to soon: Because we think this man cares about us, or because we want to be close to someone(male) because we are just plain horny and need some release. If you do this make sure he pleases you before he does himself, and don't be afraid to tell him or use your hand to show him what makes you hot, if this makes him mad or turns him off then...Dump him FAST, because it's a two way street he'd do it to you if you didn't make his body beg for more. And don't feel bad, be glad you found out what he was like. Before you dated him a-while, or even married him consider this a blessing not a bad thing!!
Sex-Goddess: Yes we all want our mate to think we are the best sex-partner they ever had but, don't give it up to fast. Don't be to free with your loving, it's okay to give him a sample now and then, but...Hold on to your bodies special gift till he slips a RING!! On your finger. Because it seems today, once men have had a taste of the honey pot, they are on to the next one... Like a busy bee. Or if they do stick around, don't be so free to give it away ladies make them earn it just like they do us on certain things. They want us to think they are something special and they picked us to date them...Well turn that around and make them want you instead, enough to be the last women they will ever want to date. Make them earn, your time and the honey from your love-pot with a wedding ring...Or at least a few nice trinkets, to carry your over from the break-up in case it don't work with them. And most of all don't ever feel like if you with-hold sex he'll leave you is why your giving it up, because if he does leave you for that reason...Then that was all he was after in the first place, deal with it and learn from it!
Cheap-Dates: What I mean by this is, he is always at your house watching TV on the couch or your cooking your food you bought to make him dinner. Oh... It's okay once in awhile if that is what you want to do, maybe once every few months, save this stuff for when you married and settle down for the rest of your life with this man, no matter what even if you are trying to prove to him you are a good cook to win his heart. He will say things like I like a simply women, old fashion or I'm looking for someone like dear old mom...DROP- HIM. Send him packing back to mom if that is what he is looking for, because I promise you he will let go of his money in the cob-web wallet for the next women, if the only time she will see him is if they go out on a real date that means going out in public. Don't let him give you the lines a lot of men use on us...I've got a lot of bills-(So do we) or I'm looking for a women that likes to just spend time with me cuddling and getting to know me, don't buy that you can cuddle in public as well as on your couch at home, and have an outing too. Or the best one, your the type of women I have been looking for, what he is really saying is: (I can get everything from you for nothing in return but my time). This is a selfish man, if you allow it then you get what you ask for..A lot of dates in front of the TV and a rolling in the bed if he wants to make you feel like you earned it. If we allow this type of behavior then we have no one to blame but our self. Don't get me wrong, not all men have money. And not all poor men are bad for us to date. What I'm saying is rich or poor....He will find the money to take you out on a date/outing what-ever, if you tell him this is what you expect from him in order to spend time with him. I promise you, other women do it all the time...Why should you expect any less for yourself. If he really likes you he will find ways to court you in public and not behind closed doors.
Things I feel we as women do wrong, when dating men, to stop from being alone:
Give up our bodies for sexual pleasures to soon: Because we think this man cares about us, or because we want to be close to someone(male) because we are just plain horny and need some release. If you do this make sure he pleases you before he does himself, and don't be afraid to tell him or use your hand to show him what makes you hot, if this makes him mad or turns him off then...Dump him FAST, because it's a two way street he'd do it to you if you didn't make his body beg for more. And don't feel bad, be glad you found out what he was like. Before you dated him a-while, or even married him consider this a blessing not a bad thing!!
Sex-Goddess: Yes we all want our mate to think we are the best sex-partner they ever had but, don't give it up to fast. Don't be to free with your loving, it's okay to give him a sample now and then, but...Hold on to your bodies special gift till he slips a RING!! On your finger. Because it seems today, once men have had a taste of the honey pot, they are on to the next one... Like a busy bee. Or if they do stick around, don't be so free to give it away ladies make them earn it just like they do us on certain things. They want us to think they are something special and they picked us to date them...Well turn that around and make them want you instead, enough to be the last women they will ever want to date. Make them earn, your time and the honey from your love-pot with a wedding ring...Or at least a few nice trinkets, to carry your over from the break-up in case it don't work with them. And most of all don't ever feel like if you with-hold sex he'll leave you is why your giving it up, because if he does leave you for that reason...Then that was all he was after in the first place, deal with it and learn from it!
Cheap-Dates: What I mean by this is, he is always at your house watching TV on the couch or your cooking your food you bought to make him dinner. Oh... It's okay once in awhile if that is what you want to do, maybe once every few months, save this stuff for when you married and settle down for the rest of your life with this man, no matter what even if you are trying to prove to him you are a good cook to win his heart. He will say things like I like a simply women, old fashion or I'm looking for someone like dear old mom...DROP- HIM. Send him packing back to mom if that is what he is looking for, because I promise you he will let go of his money in the cob-web wallet for the next women, if the only time she will see him is if they go out on a real date that means going out in public. Don't let him give you the lines a lot of men use on us...I've got a lot of bills-(So do we) or I'm looking for a women that likes to just spend time with me cuddling and getting to know me, don't buy that you can cuddle in public as well as on your couch at home, and have an outing too. Or the best one, your the type of women I have been looking for, what he is really saying is: (I can get everything from you for nothing in return but my time). This is a selfish man, if you allow it then you get what you ask for..A lot of dates in front of the TV and a rolling in the bed if he wants to make you feel like you earned it. If we allow this type of behavior then we have no one to blame but our self. Don't get me wrong, not all men have money. And not all poor men are bad for us to date. What I'm saying is rich or poor....He will find the money to take you out on a date/outing what-ever, if you tell him this is what you expect from him in order to spend time with him. I promise you, other women do it all the time...Why should you expect any less for yourself. If he really likes you he will find ways to court you in public and not behind closed doors.
Marriage verses living together: To many couples today live together for years and never get married, this is fine if you don't want to marry this person, but if you do don't sell yourself short. If you want marriage from this man then stick to your guns and don't settle for less, move the wedding date up if it is so imporant for you two to live under one roof, if your sure that he is the one for you. But don't fall for these lines from him: I want to see how we work together before we tie the knot. Or I don't want to get married till I can buy you a proper ring, or have a nice wedding, or save money to buy a nicer home or car, or I want to pay off some bills before I get married. Accept it he's not looking for a wife...He's looking for a Room-mate, THAT COOKS AND CLEANS AND GIVES HIM FREE SEX, and pays half of the bills so he has more money. He's still looking for MRS. RIGHT, and you just allowed him to say your not her and went along with it your worth more then what he is willing to offer, be smart run fast!
Gifts/Holidays: This one I think hurts the most of all, we make excuse why they don't remember to give us a gift on holidays or birthdays when we always remember them. They say things like we should tell them these dates, because they have a lot on their minds and can't remember dates we need to let them know those things are important to us. We shouldn't have too! We buy them things, then sometimes they try to make up for it by giving you a late gift or take you out for dinner to make it right...It still hurts and what's worst is we let them get away with it, because we like them. Well Maybe in the beginning this is fine because they don't know you that well, but after 6-months they should know what's proper in the gift dept.
Family/Friends/co-workers: This one I know a lot of people say you shouldn't do till you know if you like this person, I agree. But if your still dating this person after a few months and only each other, I feel you should expect him take you to meet these people in his life, and you do the same. At least half of the time he spends with these people if not more, if your a couple then others should know that too. Don't be a fool and let him tell you that he don't want you to get to know these people for what ever reason, tell him you want to be the judge, if he don't follow thru and stands firm, you need to ask why? And if he tells you that these people don't like you is why he don't take you with him to see these people, you need to let him know they don't know you, how can they know if they like you as a person or not? He needs to give you and them a chance to get to know each other. Unless he is really telling them, that you and him aren't really dating is why he don't want you to meet them and then the truth will come out if they met you. This you need to find it out in the beginning not years down the road, or take his word for it. If he really likes you then he would want others to see how happy you make him. Don't be a fool and let him keep you away from these people, you need to be asking him and yourself why you are allowing him to treat you this way if you are his girl-friend?
During a heated dis-agreement: He throws his x-girlfriends or your past lovers or kids or friends in your face to put you down. Or the one where he tells you he is such a great man that women are always hitting on him, so you should feel like he is the best thing that walked into your life this:(is what he wants you to believe) This is wrong he shouldn't do this its mean and cruel, if this does happen he needs to know its not right and to stop it and you shouldn't allow it after one time of it happening, if it happens a lot then move fast to start looking for a better men out there who will treat you the way you want to be treated.
I guess what I am saying is if we as women don't expect more out of a dating partner for us, then we get what we ask for and we have no one to blame but our-selves. But if we feel we are worth more then what our past male-dating partners give us then we need be up front with what we want, and stand by it even if we end up alone or they dump us..We expect to be happy as person, but the happiness has to come from with in you, and what you allow others to do or treat you. Because we all need to learn to give to ourselves more to be happy with where your going in life, and if you end up alone for a time..Well, least no man is the blame for it."
